Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
