i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
