i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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