What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
