If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You took a bar mat shot.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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