No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
