this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
