Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
