why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
