Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
