For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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