What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Who wears a wallet chain?!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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