you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
