sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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