Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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