It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm passing your future prison.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
