She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
