Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We have so much sex to catch up on
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
soo... how was my night?
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