i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
