Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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