I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
