Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
