My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
