Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Apparently you make a good broom.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
