Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
