went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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