I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
