when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
