DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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