Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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