Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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