So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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