as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
