Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
