You're my little dorito
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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