the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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