ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
