Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Someone signed my nipple.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
