Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
