worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
