i already hear my dad disowning me
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
