Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
