The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
