Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
