There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
