The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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