Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
