I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
