Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
