she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
